If you touch my beard, I will touch your butt.
sex is cool but have you heard Mr Brightside drunk at 2am because that is true bliss
(via oreg0nprincess)
how come no one talks about those days where your mental health just crashes down randomly and you start feeling ashamed of yourself because you were doing so good and now you feel like a complete failure because you can’t figure out where you went wrong.
(via juliethebibliophile)
Me, when I buy 24 roombas and an amazon alexa
Me: Alexa, unleash the roombas
*24 roombas emerge slowly from under my bed, consuming everything in their path*
(via spongebobssquarepants)